We celebrated our 15th year of marriage this past September and in February of next year, we will have known each other for over 19 years. Yes, it certainly is amazing how fast time flies when you get older. We have had our ups and downs, but nothing we could not face together.
First and foremost, I must say that each of us, at one point or another, have felt like we are with the person we are meant to be with forever and when you are in that place it is VERY difficult to see past it. Both my husband and I had been in previous relationships that we thought were going to be THE ONE. In fact, my husband married his! Almost no one goes into a marriage saying, 'well, this is the one for now'.
There are pros and cons to the actual legal union of marriage and, in our society today, people tend to treat it like a piece of paper more than a sacred union, but I also know couples that treat their relationship like a sacred union without any legal piece of paper. This goes to show that marriage and relationships are more of a state of mind than anything else. If you go into a relationship thinking, 'this is mister/misses right now' then it might never progress to anything.
I must say however, when I met my husband, he was going through some dark shit and although he confessed everything to me the night we meet, I was thinking to myself, 'I need to run! Run, far and fast!' Needless to say, I did not. He told me he was separated from a woman that was going to be having his child in a couple of months. Yes, this is when I thought RUN, but then I heard a voice say, 'just be friends with him, he's going to need one'. So I reluctantly followed him outside to talk more.
I always say, "Trust your instincts! They are talking to you for a reason" but in this case, my guides were louder than my instincts. They told me to get to know this man more which didn't mean that much to me at the time, but more and more I am grateful for them speaking up the way they did.
The universe knows what it is doing even if we make bad choices and wrong turns. If something is meant to be, the universe finds a way for us to get back on that right path. We just have to trust it.
The night I meet my husband, my sister and I were meant to be in Chicago at the bars downtown. I was getting sick of that scene and the same old crowd so I told her I didn't even want to go out that night. She suggested that we go to a bar closer and I agreed to make her happy. My husband was also not supposed to be at the bar where we meet that night either. His friends were throwing him a party to celebrate his freedom. He had decided that he didn't really want to be at that party anymore so he went to the bar we were at by himself, which is rather odd, but he had frequented this bar before and already knew several people there.
We, my sister and I, noticed this 'Cowboy' often staring at me early in the night. He stood out because in a sea of black cowboy hats and black shirts, he was wearing a white hat and white coat. Actually, I didn't think much of it until after the night had ended and I was replaying it in my head.
My sister and I had been 'adopted' into a group who were celebrating this woman's divorce. We laughed at the extravagant way she was celebrating and joined in for her toast. This is about the time we got to know them all and just hung out with them for awhile. They were very nice people and very fun to be around. I mention them because the woman who was celebrating her divorce, was actually the reason I meet my husband. Even though this cowboy was staring all night (and everyone not only noticed but mentioned it to me), I really wasn't in the mood to meet anyone and it seemed he was reluctant to make a move to meet me so I figured, not meant to be.
My sister and I were actually talking about leaving to go home for the night. It was getting late and I, not really drinking, was getting tired. We were saying our goodbyes to our new found friends, when the woman celebrating her divorce said, 'oh no you don't. You can't leave without meeting your cowboy.' She grabbed my hand and took me over to him with my sister following. She said, 'Boy, you've been staring at my girl all night, so here she is before she leaves you need to at least say hi.' It was very funny and with that, she disappeared back into her group. The rest, you could say, is history.
So this is my attempt to solidify thoughts, ideas, suggestions, and advice for not only my children and grandchildren, but anyone else that might need this type of advice. It is meant to be a 'how we did it' type of information. There will be past information along with current but all will be the truth!
Take-a-way: "Trust the universe! It will guide you to where you are meant to be!"
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